Top Ten

So in light of my last post and my obsession with pregnancy and childbirth, I have decided to make a list of all I enjoy while NOT being pregnant.

1. I know what you are all thinking, wine. While the thought of lowering my blood pressure and dozing off in the evening to a nice red wine sounds heavenly, I still have yet to add that to my list thanks to breastfeeding.

2.A daily dose of caffeine. I know I should keep this somewhat limited as well due to nursing but it’s the one thing that I think of at 3:00am that makes me smile. After a crazy morning trying to herd everyone out of the house, I pick up my latte, take a sip and take a deep breath. Heaven in a travel mug.

3.Deli Meat. Yes, I avoided deli meat while pregnant due to the ever so..common..threat of listeria. Didn’t you know? Now I can have a healthy quick lunch with some good old turkey. Nitrate free of course, let’s not get crazy.

4.A hot bath. Three and a half years ago when we built our house, I insisted I needed a jetted tub. It has been used twice.

5.Paint fumes. Ok, maybe I don’t enjoy them but it’s nice to get back to my old “take on too many projects” self.

6.Soft cheeses. Not that I indulge on blue cheese but it’s nice to go out to lunch and not study the menu to be sure my salad has the appropriate type of cheese.

7.Swordfish. Ok, I don’t really eat swordfish but it only made me worry about of other fish and mercury levels.

8.Second hand smoke. OK! I don’t enjoy this either but it will be nice not to hold my breath and glare at the smokers trying to get them to notice my bulging belly and see their harmful habit. Although the lack of oxygen to the baby might be more harmful than the puff of smoke….

9.Energy. I must admit, the first trimester I often found myself napping in my car or wherever I could find a quiet space. I may not get any sleep but at least my body is not trying to grow a human inside. And let’s not forget, now I can inject caffeine.

10.Holding my babies close. Probably one of the best reasons. My boys can sometimes be rough and I worry when I’m pregnant about them kicking the baby or hurting him. Towards the end I can’t lift much. And with a huge belly, it’s hard to hold my other ones close on my lap and in a rocking chair. So today I will enjoy a flat (eh hmm) stomach and enjoy my three precious boys.

Rose colored glasses

I’m a little bummed I didn’t keep up on this blog during my pregnancy. I SO love being pregnant and I wish I would have expressed my feelings more on paper so I could remember all the things I loved about it. But even more, I should have kept a better record of the not so fun parts. While I have great pregnancies, I still am utterly exhausted day in and day out. I get nauseous and eat constantly. I watched food network every night and found myself in the kitchen at 10pm trying to make huevoes rancheros and guacamole, hence the 40 lb weight gain. I had early labor and bedrest, backaches and aching feet. Yet, when I look back I remember all those things fondly. I long for the feeling of a kicking baby back inside of me, seeing the baby on the ultrasound for the first time, seeing my stomach grow and dreaming of what he might be like. I have a way of looking back at life’s events through rose colored glasses. This third c-section I suffered from a terrible spinal headache for nearly six weeks yet all I feel is utter joy when I recall the events of his birth. This is a problem. I just don’t know how to stop. But it’s a problem I’ll take. Makes life a little sweeter to focus on the good sometimes.

On the verge of crazy

I’m starting to understand why I get strange looks when I tell people I have three boys under the age of 5. And work full time. As most of you know, my children do not sleep. Ever. I have no idea where they get their energy. I’ve always prided myself on how little sleep I need but apparently that’s genetic. Hmmm. I did not see this coming. So at 6 ½ months Greyson gets up at least two times a night, on a good night. Just when I think this will be my night, Jackson wakes up with the stomach flu and Colton decides Daddy needs to lay with him on the couch at 3am. Cleared that hurdle Monday. Ok, Thursday, it can’t get any worse. Ha. I drag myself to bed at 11pm and lay there realizing how large my to do list already is for tomorrow. I finally doze off to a 12:30 wake up from Greyson. Luckily after a quick snack he’s out. Whew. 1:30am. Sobbing. Jackson has an ear ache. Seriously?! An ear ache? He hasn’t had an ear infection in years. Tylenol, warm washcloth, extra pillow, prayers. I think he’s out. 3:30 Greyson is ready for another quick snack. 4:30 Colton decides its morning and he’s taking Jackson with him. Mommy and Daddy, sorry, bedtime is over. No worries, I just have to work, pump, early pick up for doctors appts, friends over for dinner and then bedtime starts all over again. Yep, it’s a crazy life. But oddly, I feel fine. I can’t complain. I’m in love with four boys and I couldn’t be more thankful for my abundant blessings.

Letters to my...boys?

I keep seeing all these great blogs from mom’s to their kids. A way to capture memories. They are so touching and sentimental. I love it. Because I love my kids beyond belief. I love being pregnant. I love giving birth and I love being a mom. I should write letters to my boys. Wait. My boys? I can picture it now. 20 years from now I’ll gather all my old blogs, put together years of pictures, spend countless hours arranging them and crying over the memories. I’ll peer over their shoulders with tears in my eyes as they unwrap my masterpiece and they’ll say, “Cool, mom. Thanks.” Maybe I should just spend my time praying for wonderful, sappy daughter-in-laws.

I’m back!

I know, nearly two years later. I've had another baby since then! I realized I've been reading all these other blogs and thinking about all I would say on mine. So, in my spare time...ok, I'll give up something else and write for a bit. What to give up...hmm...Sleep? Nope, don't get any of that. Breakfast? Wait, my latte and two chocolate chip cookies? That wouldn't save much time. And I'm not about to give up my coffee. Bathroom breaks? Probably not the best idea. Who knows. This may only last a week but it'll be a nice way to vent and capture my life. So here we go again.

You’re what?!

So I’m always blown away when I hear adults say they are bored. Really?! You’re so lucky! I mean how can you be bored? I think the last time I remember being bored, I was 15 and wishing I had my driver’s license. What I wouldn’t give now to read a book, watch movies, take a walk, or better yet, do nothing! Doesn’t sound boring to me, sounds fabulous! So anyhow, I started this blog with such good intentions, don’t we all....yet, I am now trying to remember where to even find my blog. Being a mom to two small children means never saying I’m bored. But I wouldn’t trade my craziness for the world. Hopefully my next post won’t be another 5 months but I can’t make any promises.

It’s official, I”m crazy

I love being a mom and oddly enough, I love being pregnant. I also have short term memory loss. While in the midst of potty training Jackson, we had a really rough night. Colton was up every couple of hours screaming and in between those times, Jackson was crying because he had an accident in his bed. I think I may have had two hours of sleep. As I drug myself into Starbucks the next morning, I saw this beautiful pregnant lady and I found myself contemplating...hmm..am I ready for another? What has come over me??!
(And no, I am not trying for another. It was a temporary lapse in judgment. Well, I’m not trying yet anyway.)

Sleep? Remind me again what that is?

It’s true that sleep will never be the same once you have kids but nothing is quite like those first few weeks. I remember when Jackson was born. He was a month early and so he had a little trouble nursing. The doctors and nurses insisted that I wake him every two hours to eat. Fun. The poor little guy was so tired that it took a half an hour just to get him to wake up. Then I would nurse him another half hour, pump a little to keep my milk up, clean up my equipment then go back to bed for well, about another half hour until it was time to start over. I literally began to loose my mind. I remember waking up wondering where I was, if the baby was in bed with me, when was the last time I fed him?? My eyes burned, my legs ached. I never knew I could survive on such little sleep. I swore I would punch the next person who told me their baby slept through the night at 2 weeks. I secretly smiled when I heard someone else’s baby was up all night. It’s true misery loves company. The crazy thing is when they finally do sleep through the night, I sometimes miss rocking with them in the dark room and listening to them breathe as they sleep on my chest.

Can you not hear that?!

Ok, I’ll admit it’s partially my fault for sleeping with the video monitor 6 inches from my face but I wake up if my child as much as moves his left toe. So how is it my husband is still snoring after 15 minutes of wailing?? I keep hearing that some babies just have to learn to cry it out. With my first child, he never had to do much more than whimper and I had him scooped up in my arms. After 6 months with my second waking every couple hours I thought I better let him cry at least a few minutes. Every mom knows the horrific feeling of hearing your baby cry. Even five minutes feels like an eternity. After 10 minutes I have knots in my stomach and by 15 I am on the verge on vomiting and decide the “cry it out” method just plain sucks, I’m getting my baby. Sure that my husband must be feeling the same way, I look over to check with him to find he is sound asleep. I often end up in the rocker next to my bed listening to, my baby sleeping on my chest, my 2 year old sleeping soundly through the monitor, my husband snoring away and oh yes, the dog curled up next to him snoring even louder.

Wait...these aren’t my hips. And these definitely are not my boobs

One of the sacrifices we make as a mom is definitely our body. I have to admit I was quite lucky with my first. Although I gained the normal 30-35 lbs, I think I was so overwhelmed with being a new mom that the weight came off without even noticing and thanks to my mom and genetics, I didn’t get any stretch marks. I was even enjoying having boobs for the first time since I breast-fed for the first 8 months. When I was just starting to get use to them I stopped nursing and well, they deflated. Any of you moms out there probably can relate. It’s literally like a balloon had popped. Bummer. Then baby number 2 came. Hooray the boobs are back! However this time I was not so lucky. I gained the same amount of weight but I think my body may be a little tired of this whole stretching out to accommodate a baby thing. Although the weight is gone, this belly is not quite how I remember it. Baby #1 took a toll on my upper body and baby #2 my mid-section. At least my feet still look the same.....wait a second...